Erasmo Ramirez Implodes, Mariners Lose Gracelessly

When the Seattle Mariners swept the Boston Red Sox, it was hoped that the team had seen the end of a weird little trend this year where they beat up on good teams and are owned by the league’s bottom feeders. The Red Sox suck, and if the M’s could dominate them, why shouldn’t they be able to do the same against the Texas Rangers? End of a narrative, right?

Except the Rangers just beat the Mariners 12-4, taking two of three in the process. So out of the Rangers, Red Sox, and Philadelphia Phillies, the M’s got one series win while going 5-4. Not as bad as it seemed, but not as good as it could have been after the sweep at Fenway. But hey, at least it’s the Washington Nationals next. They’re great, which means they’ll be no problem.

Here’s what Erasmo Ramirez did in three innings of work today: Tomas Telis three-run double, Leonys Martin RBI single, Rougned Odor grand slam, Elvis Andrus RBI double, Adrian Beltre RBI sac fly. That wasn’t all, of course. Erasmo’s night started with a nice swinging strikeout. That wasn’t literally the only positive event of his start, but wow, it almost was.

Ten runs in three innings. Yuck yuck yuck. Erasmo almost had his ERA under four this morning, but tonight it’s well over five. Ten earned runs on nine hits and a walk. That’s an efficient demolition. Joe Beimel yielded a two-run homer to Martin later in the game, so at least Erasmo wasn’t the only guy cursing at himself in the locker room for allowing a long ball to a slap hitter. But then again, he was definitely the only guy cursing at himself in the locker room for allowing ten runs in three innings.

Colby Lewis threw a complete game for Texas, allowing four runs in the process. Four runs! The offense still works, right on! In the bottom of the second Mike Zunino crushed a homer. He does that. He’s good at that. The bomb was number nineteen on the year, giving him a share of the team lead.

With Dustin Ackley and Robinson Cano in scoring position in the sixth, Kendrys Morales drilled a double to, um, score them. From scoring position. Kyle Seager homered in the ninth to reclaim sole possession of the team lead.

Do you think these guys talk about that? Is there some sense of competition between teammates to see who can hit the most bombs? Is the winner of the season-long dinger-hitting content then crowned king of the clubhouse and all the players who hit less dingers than him have to wash his stinky feet for him? My guess is no.

Enjoy an off day tomorrow knowing that the Mariners still have a playoff spot. David Price was shelled today as the Yankees recorded nine straight hits in what ended an 8-4 drubbing. So Detroit loses, Seattle loses, and nothing changes. Great. The Mariners resume on Friday, and hooooooly moley, is that Felix Hernandez vs. Jordan Zimmermann at 7:10pm in the great city of Seattle? It sure looks like it is! Felix’s ERA plus Zimmerman’s ERA is less than the ERAs of either of today’s starters. Get excited. Get really excited.