Here at Emerald City Swagger, we like to provide you with thorough, comprehensive summaries of each and every Seattle Mariners game. However, it should be noted that while this is something we enjoy doing very much, it is not something we will always do. Tonight, for instance, is not one of those nights. The Mariners played a game, and it was even a good game at times, but in the end it boils down to Erasmo Ramirez getting killed, the bullpen not doing much better, and Hector Noesi not allowing a run. This will be a quick and dirty recap, in celebration of a game that lasted three and a half hours but felt like it took twice that long.
Erasmo Ramirez started. He pitched the same number of innings on the day as did Dominic Leone and Danny Farquhar, and none of those guys left with injury. Erasmo left because of his six hits, two walks, and five earned runs, including a token homer from Shin-Soo Choo. Ramirez struck out two, which, cool, I guess, but in an outing where it was essential that he not look like crap, he looked like crap. With a rotation’s worth of arms on the DL, Ramirez won’t even get the opportunity to work out his kinks in the minors. He’ll stay pitching behind Felix until the rest of the staff heals up, getting chances to prove that he’s un-broken himself. Which, to this point, he has not.
Never mind that the Rangers scored eight runs. That’s entirely the fault of the defense and pitching, which aren’t things we have to talk about whilst noting that the Mariners scored six runs. That was the fun part of this game, so that’s what we’ll talk about here. The Mariners scored six runs. Cool! How’d that go down?
It went down with a six-run third, that’s how. Tanner Scheppers, Opening Day Starter allowed a leadoff single to Abraham Almonte and then walked Brad Miller. This brought Robinson Cano to the plate, looking to hit a home run since, you know, he hadn’t done one of those since his pinstripe days. And by golly, that’s just what he did, plating a quick three runs and putting a smile on this particular author’s face. Next up was Corey Hart, who copied Cano, which is what $240 million buys you, right? Cano’s influence was supposed to rub off on the rest of the roster and make them better. Cano’s contract is paying for a roster’s worth of dingers. Kyle Seager made an out, Nick Franklin walked, Justin Smoak singled, and in came Hector Noesi. Noesi may not have allowed any earned runs against his thankfully-former team, but he did give Dustin Ackley a middle of the zone fastball that went for a two-run double. Hector Noesi is awful and because he’s on the Rangers the Rangers are bad now. Never mind how that’s not true, and just pretend it’s true.
All said and done, the Mariners had a fairly painful trip to Texas. Following a nice win they were shut out, then blew a Felix gem, then lost a slugfest. Tomorrow they’ll be playing National League ball in Miami, facing one of the most interesting and exciting awful teams in recent memory. The Marlins are overflowing with compelling young guys, anchored by hyperreal talents Giancarlo Stanton and Jose Fernandez. They suck, of course, in part because their best infielder is coming off a -2 WAR season. It’s nice to have an infield if you’re a professional baseball team. Tomorrow it’s Chris Young vs. Nathan Eovaldi at 4:10pm. And speaking of Felix Hernandez, you know who has a better strikeouts-per-walk ratio than Felix Hernandez? Nathan Eovaldi, with an MLB-leading 19 strikeouts for every walk. How about that!